Advice and Support

Understand them, don’t judge them

Don’t let porn be a taboo subject to talk about as it can soon become a problem.

It’s okay to feel worried, confused or awkward about talking to your child about pornography, but having these conversations can shape future relationships, body confidence and views on gender.

Most children start watching this because of curiosity around sex. Some however, are shown these things by friends or siblings, so they may need some extra support.

Parents and Guardians shouldn’t judge young adults for what they are watching. They should understand and honestly chat with them.

If your child doesn’t want to talk to you about this then guiding them to places where they can learn about sex without having to watch it is a great way for them to have their curiosity answered.

BISH is a great website for over 14s to help explain a whole range of sex education, including pornography. A link to their website can be found here.

The NSPCC is also there for under 18s to chat to them about this topic. Your child may feel more comfortable talking to someone else about porn or sex. They can call Childline on 0800 1111 for a free, confidential chat.

For adults who are worried about their child’s sexual behaviour, call the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000.

Some amazing articles to read can be found below:

Lesson Plan – Pornography

It shouldn’t be a taboo topic. Students should feel like they can talk about pornography and have their questions answered without feeling judged.

A great idea for this lesson is to have students submit anonymous questions in a Questions Box and the teacher prepare answers to them.

Students should have their attention brought back to the Body Positivity Lesson and the Labia Factsheet.

labia-fact-sheetDownload

A great NHS worksheet on understanding pornography should be handed out to students. That can be found here.

Pornography

A government report found that:

“There’s a significant association between pornography use and attitudes supporting violence against women, with this relationship being significantly higher for sexually violent pornography.” (2021, Reward Foundation)

Many young adults are watching porn. That’s a fact. Trying to stop this isn’t an effective method. Students should be made aware that what they are viewing is not representative of actual real-life relationships and bodies.

Young adults should come away from talks on pornography feeling reassured about their bodies and aware of the damages porn can cause.

The law is changing around pornography. Sites will soon require proof of age or will use third party data to verify an age of 18+.

TEACHERS: Lesson Plan

Ideas and worksheets

PARENTS: Advice and Support

Starting conversations and avoiding awkwardness.

References:

Women don’t owe you pretty

This book is a triumph for women and addresses the uncomfortable truths rarely discussed in society and especially in schools. So, there has never been a more prevalent time to begin a discussion…

Over 18s should read the full book. Certain extracts out of it are incredibly informative and can be used in lessons for under 18s. See below chapter recommendations:

  • Feminism is going to ruin your life (in the best way)
  • Love sex, hate sexism
  • If it’s not a “yes”, it’s a “no”
  • Women do not exist to satisfy the male gaze
  • You don’t have to get married (no, really)

Where to buy the book?

Women don’t owe you pretty can be bought from most online and in-store book retailers. See some links below:

Warning: This book does contain explicit content.

The Female Body

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes and young adults are at their most vulnerable in life when seeing ‘perfect’ bodies on social media and in TV/Films. It’s essential to get through to teenagers at this time to build a healthy understanding and relationship with their bodies.

Getting young people out of the ‘porn-perfect’ mindset is so important as pornography can have harmful effects on self-esteem and future relationships and distort views of themselves.

See some topic ideas below to discuss:

The History of the ‘Ideal Woman’

Students should be informed that previous beauty standards and ‘ideal body types’ have all been decided by men and this has changed throughout the years.

A great video to show ideal body types throughout the decades:

The deeper the roots: YouTube

The Inner and Outer Labia

Every shape and size is completely NORMAL.

Labiaplasty is a surgical procedure that has dramatically increased in recent years. Women believing their labia is the wrong shape or size is the most common reason for getting surgery because they haven’t been taught that all shapes and sizes are completely NORMAL.

Students should be given time to look at and discuss the fact sheet below.

LABIA fact sheet genfemDownload

Bodily Fluids and Smells

*News Flash* a Vagina is self-cleaning and is supposed to have a smell to it.

[‘Vaginal Discharge’ is the correct medical term for it but we tend to link the word ‘discharge’ with something infected, oozing and rotten, so until Gen Fem can officially change the medical term, we’ll refer to it as Vaginal Juices.]

Vaginal Juices are perfectly normal and show that your vagina is working. It’s actually associated with a clean, hygienic, functioning vaginal canal.

And yes, it’s supposed to smell.

For more information on this topic, see Health & Hygiene.

Breasts & Areolas

They come in all shapes and sizes and it’s perfectly normal to have one slightly larger than the other.

Areola is the medical term for the skin surrounding the nipple.

Body Hair

Your pubic, armpit, leg, facial, toe, finger, arm, ear, nose and back hair is completely natural. Only you can decide what happens to your body hair.

It should be explained to students that there is a lot more pressure today to have no body hair because of pornography and the depictions of women in the media.

An excellent fact sheet about Pornography by NHS Foundation Trust should be given to each student to read in their own time. Find the downloadable PDF here.

Female Anatomy

The curriculum currently expects reproductive systems to be taught in Biology and PSHE. What is covered is what the GCSE exam may contain. While some of the female anatomy is not in GCSE exams, it is the responsibility of teachers and parents to educate males and females on the female anatomy so that healthy sex lives can be achieved later in life.

Below are essential diagrams (not in the curriculum) that students should be taught in order to gain a better understanding of female anatomy.

Female milk ducts:

Students should be made aware of the flower-like tissue structure that makes up a woman’s breast.

The ducts are the ‘stems’ of the flower and the ‘petals’ are the lobules. The lobules produce the milk and the ducts carry it to be secreted through the nipple.

Internal diagram of the clitoris:

As part of the reproductive system, the clitoris is outlined in many diagrams, however the internal structure is something people should be informed about as the nerves aren’t just concentrated in the glans clitoris, they extend to the corpus cavernosum. 

Teachers should note the comparisons between the clitoris structure and male genitalia.

The correct names for female genitalia should be taught.

Stigma and myths around the hymen should be spoken about with the students. The hymen is not an indicator of someone having had penetrative sex. Hymens can vary in thickness

The cause of bleeding during sex should be talked about – there are more resources on this topic in Health & Hygiene.

Students should be told about the different shapes/sizes of the labia and how the porn industry has projected a false ‘perfect’ shape onto society. Every type of labia is normal and students should be reassured of this.

A labia factsheet is available to include in this lesson below.

labia-fact-sheet-genfem-1Download

Find the free downloadable PDF below

female-anatomy-lessonDownload

References:

Episode 3: The Orgasm Gap

Self-love, pleasure and orgasm coach, Heloise Haupt joins us to share her story about faking orgasms and to talk about the inequalities in sex. Sarah is also on location at her family home in Lincolnshire, chatting to her parents about sex, showing that anyone can start a conversation.

Heloise Haupt via Instagram @Heloise.Haupt | Amanda and Tom Scott |

Grab a pen and paper to take part in this episode’s quiz all about orgasms, or find the quiz sheet below to do in your own time then join us for the answers.

Listen on Spotify, Anchor or on SoundCloud.

the-orgasm-gap-quiz-sheet-convertedDownload

Episode 2: The Pay & Education Gap

Join us this week to discuss the differences in what we are educated on by teachers and parents. Sarah will be chatting with Francesca Lawson, the inventor of the Gender Pay Gap Bot on Twitter about how being educated on handling a pay dispute can help women earn what they deserve. Sarah is also on location at the Vagina Museum in London, learning about what women should be educated on.

From Left to right: The Vagina Museum, London via http://www.vaginamuseum.co.uk | Francesca Lawson via http://www.francescalawson.com | Twitter Gender Pay Gap Bot |

Listen on Spotify, Anchor, Soundcloud, or on our page below.

A huge social issue facing women is the difference in pay women receive for doing the same job as a man, as well as the need to gain more representation in senior executive roles.

At the Vagina Museum, Sarah learns about the history of periods and the normality of every different kind of Vulva, Vagina and Labia. A great worksheet to go with this podcast is the Labia Factsheet which can be found below.

LABIA fact sheet genfemDownload